Blindness

My greatest fear? losing the ability to see. My grandmother was legally blind, and while I loved spending time with her, taking her on walks, going out to lunch, helping her choose books on tape (one of her greatest joys because books were something she could enjoy in the long hours she was alone in her small apartment), I feared ever being confined in the way that she was by her lack of sight.

I suppose there are greater things to fear, but the personal insight into the limits that blindness place on a life were very real to me at a young age. My grandmother was a very independent woman and her blindness took that completely away from her. I really can't imagine too much worse; it's been a phobia of mine for years.

So today, it hit me hard when I found out that I apparently have glaucoma. Or it could be a total mistake. But there's no way to know; not yet. After taking my online wellness assessment, the new interconnectedness provided by online medical records allowed me to view the most recent reports from doctor visits I have attended. How could I have been diagnosed and not been informed? Yet when I called my doctor's office, the medical records representative confirmed that I seem to have glaucoma. He told me how shocked he was that I wouldn't have been told of or received treatment for this diagnosis.

I'm still in shock.


I don't want to go into complete panic mode until the doctor has had a chance to explain this situation, but in the meantime, I can't stop thinking about how blindness would affect my world. There are so many things that I enjoy seeing, and doing, with my sight.

 I saw this today: